This bitch has been taking a break to give my brain a rest! But don't worry. The bitch is back, and he's ready to serve some tea! Where to start? A lot or nonsense went down in a very short time. I guess I'll start with my weekend. So I was on a trip to the mall dubbed the "Trip of Inspiration" by my crazy ass friend Jacob. That boy was on a mission! He was determined to get me some guys number before we left. Boy is goddamned crazy if he think I'm gonna talk to some boy on my own. This bitch is SHY. Well, we decided to go to Dillards and ride the escalator, because we're just that amazing. This amazingly cute guy working the makeup counter, and Jacob told me he was checking my ghetto booty out! Well, true to form I started stammering like a crackwhore in withdrawal when he ordered me to go talk to him. This bitch does NOT work well under pressure. IIII am an acquired taste. Well I chickened out and we left the store, no number. Just before we started leaving, in a rare fit of bravery I decided to go back and ask for his number. And lo and behold, guess who's taken? Thats ok though, I didnt want to be the Monica Lewinsky to his Bill Clinton. I am NOONES second choice.
On a side note, I swear to the sassy black woman living up in the sky that Jacob is the gayest straight boy I have ever seen. He dragged Brenda and I into EVERY womens clothing store he can find. He was determined to put the poor girl into something more girly than what she usually wears. He even picked out every outfit, down to the shoes. He makes this bitch looks straight!
Signing off lovelies! -XoXo
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