Things I'd Rather Do Instead of Work Today

This bitch is feeling lazy today. I don't wanna work, at all. So I will make a list of the top ten things I'd rather do instead of work

1) Get up and do the Macarena. EYYYYY MACARENA!
2) Do my best Amy Winehouse impression. Got my own crack lighter and everything
3) Smoke coffee
4) Throw up after attempting to smoke coffee
5) Attempt to fit my fat ass into extremely small spaces
6) Give Helen Keller fashion advice
7) Play in traffic
8) Get fingered by Wolverine
9) Cat fight with an irritable mongoose
10) Write another ten things I'd rather do
11) Memorize every Disney song ever written
12) Write a blog about the best ways to attenpt to smoke coffee
13) Actually GET that weave I keep talking about having
14) Dress up in drag an do the hula
15) Get married to myself, Sue Sylvester style
16) Sing at my own wedding and boo myself off the stage
17) Smoke more coffee out of depression at my lack of talent
18) Throw up after said attempt to smoke coffee
19) Dress up in drag and scale the walls of the Emperors palace to save China
20) Cry because I'm out of things to do, and am forced to work.

On a separate note, I am tired as hell. So tack that on to my list. Sleep away 17 years of eye bags!

Signing off, lovelies! -XoXo